June 2, I gave a presentation, “Setbacks Pave the Way for Comebacks” at the Montvale Library, Montvale, New Jersey. A few attendees asked for the Eight Principles I talked about for overcoming a setback, so I am sharing them with all of you on my blog.
No one is immune to the storms of life that appear suddenly in our lives and threaten to topple us. Setbacks come in all forms and typically cause major stress. These might include the loss of a job or a career, illness or chronic pain and/or a disease that creates cause for altering our life style, the broken promises of a spouse leading to divorce, the death of a loved one or child, or even the realization that we can no longer deny a reality in our lives. All of these scenarios, and a host of other calamities, can cause a setback in our lives of great magnitude and from which some people never recover.
But, I know that setbacks can pave the way for comebacks and that when you come back, you come back stronger. I know this because of my own setbacks and of the victory I embrace today from applying the eight principles you will find at the end of this blog entry.
In 1979, I was a victim of a violent crime. A hooded intruder entered my home, and I was blindfolded and raped at knifepoint while my two-year-old daughter was napping in the next room. My attacker was never caught.
So devastating was the pain and horror of it all that I questioned my faith and my purpose in life. How could a God that I loved and served with all my heart allow such an atrocity and physical assault to one of his followers? All these years later, I still suffer the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder.
When I was attacked I had already been diagnosed with a genetic, life threatening, potentially debilitating, and chronic kidney disease, PKD (polycystic kidney disease). This is a disease that has affected several family members as well. Two years after my attack, I learned that I had another genetic and life-threatening, chronic disease. This time, a heart muscle disease called HCM (hypertrophic cardiomyopathy). Neither have a cure.
And now, thirty-two years later, my kidney function has decreased to where I am being evaluated for a kidney transplant or dialysis when the time comes, and my heart muscle disease has increased. Though my physical assault and chronic diseases greatly affect my life and life style, they do not define me. And, it’s through applying these Eight Principles that I have come back stronger…and am better.
It is my hope that these Eight Principles will help sustain you in whatever setback you face, or may face in the future so that you will soon also believe that setbacks can pave the way for comebacks...and when you come back, you come back stronger.
Eight Principles for overcoming a setback:
1. Commitment to your future – life goes on. The sun will come up tomorrow. Commit to overcome your setback in the best way you can for you, for your situation.
2. Opportunity – this is an opportunity to grow and stretch yourself. Setbacks can be a touchstone.
3. Moment by moment – sometimes it’s all you can do to just do the next thing. Routine can help us get through the dark places.
4. Explore your options – ask questions of yourself and how you want to live going forward.
5. Basics – have to look at the facts; this is where I am, this is where I want to be.
6. Advocate – Be your own advocate. There may be supporting people but you ultimately, with divine guidance, have to rescue yourself.
7. Celebrate – each and every hurdle you jump and how far you’ve come… even if it’s only since yesterday!
8. Keep to your commitment to grow, change, evolve, transform, blossom, shine, excel, be, and thrive, no matter how long it takes. And, then, one day you wake up and realize you have overcome your setback and you are stronger!
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