Top Blonde...speaking up!: January 2014

Friday, January 31, 2014

Fling wide the gates

Now, I can say that my goal of writing a January 2014 blog post is accomplished! True, I barely made it, but perseverance has paid off! Perhaps, this is perfect timing now that I’ve settled in after a month in Montana with my family. And, now that I’ve had time for reflection on all that transpired in 2013 when my life dramatically changed.

It is nearly six months since my kidney transplant. What I’m keenly aware of is that due to the generosity of my living donor, Dot Elwood, I’ve been given a second chance at life. Each and every day I’m filled with thankfulness for the gift of life and what that means to me. Thanks to Dot, I’ve been spared the weekly treatments of dialysis and the challenges it presents.

With my transplant behind me, I now wonder what the days ahead will hold for me. What imprint will I make in 2014? Will my life be one of significance? Will I accomplish my goals and realize my dreams? The joy of living that’s bubbling within makes me want to shout, “Fling wide the gates!”

Maybe you too have crossed over a chasm and doors are opening for new adventures and opportunities. Second chances are a time of celebration!

Yesterday, at a follow-up appointment with my nephrologist (kidney doctor), at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center, she totally surprised me. Along with her discussing my lab work and side effects from my anti-rejections drugs, I shared that I’m on the verge of realizing a lifelong dream. I found myself holding my breath while waiting for her response.

“Go for it!” She said with an affirming smile. That was all I needed to hear. She continued, “That’s why we do transplants, so that you can go live your life!” Before I knew it I was out of my chair and hugging her enthusiastically!

What I heard in her reply was an endorsement for, “Fling wide the gates!” With my new kidney humming along and my recovery in back of me the sky is the limit!

I’m a sixty-eight year divorced woman, mother, a grandmother, a sister, aunt and friend, who has a new lease on life. I don’t know what my future holds, but I pray for courage to step beyond the familiar and find out.

In the book of John we read, “I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly.” Do I really believe that? Do you really believe that? You and I have the opportunity to trust God that He will fulfill His promises.

“Fling wide the gates!” I’m ready to embrace each new day and see how 2014 unfolds. What about you?

Welcome to my blog

My ongoing journey to finding my voice began in childhood. Looking back, I realized I’d tried speaking up for myself in my early years except that nobody paid attention to what I was trying to express. Consequently, my perception and internalization from not being validated taught me that I was ineffective and not important.

Growing up with a lack of trust in others and in myself contributed to setting me on an unhealthy path of seeking approval and applause. I’ve sold myself short, sold out, and struggled for many years from an inferiority complex that blossomed in grammar school and continued with me right into womanhood.

It wasn’t until over thirty years later when I became the victim of a violent crime that my world changed. My trauma set me on a new path of healing. Eventually, through rape counseling and the love and support of family and friends, I recovered and found my way back to facing the truth of my life and becoming a woman with a voice who pushed back the night.

I’ve learned that we need to have a sane estimate of ourselves, know our limitations, utilize our strengths, never be less that who we are, and never let anyone or anything rob us of our joy.

My blog, Top Blonde… speaking up, is designed to inspire and challenge you to push back your own vale of darkness. You may not have gone through a traumatic experience like I was faced with, but you may have lived your life as a victim of sorts. You may be too sweet for your own good, or too nice and frequently find yourself taken advantage of by seemingly well meaning people.

I hope that you will share my blog with your friends and family and come back and visit often. Your comments and/or thoughts are welcome. Click on "comments" on the bottom right after a blog entry.

Stay beautiful, stay empowered, and always be a world class lady with a voice for good.

Latest Top Blonde news

I recently met the editor-in-chief from a large and well known publisher in NYC in the most amazing way in a most unasuming setting. We had a brief conversation at which time I asked if I could send some information about the book I'm writing. He said yes and gave me his email address. I sent my query and he responded yes that I could follow up with a book proposal for my second book, a sequal to my first book, Nice Girls Don't Get Raped. I'm very excited and will keep you posted. Wish me luck! Prayers are also appreciated:-).

Make it a Top Blonde day!

Making it a Top Blonde day has very little to do with hair color. You don’t have to be one of the many shades of blonde that either comes naturally, or out of a bottle, to qualify.

There are numerous ways to cultivate a Top Blonde spirit into your life. You might want to be Top Grandma, for example, or become Top Friend in your circle of friendships, or maybe even the Top Co-worker in the workplace. Or, maybe you want to wrap up in some razzle-dazzle before you walk out your front door and wow everyone around you.

The required ingredients for making it a Top Blonde day are free. You already have everything you need. It’s simply pulling up the desire to enjoy life, bring happiness to others, and make sure you’re living to the fullest extent of your capabilities. All that’s needed is incorporating a sense of adventure in your day, mixed with a dollop of fun and a sprinkle of flair, then topped off with some joie de vivre and, you’re on your way.

Allow me to share with you how easily it can happen. The other day when visiting New York City I stopped by Bryant Park on 42nd Street and the Avenue of Americas (sixth avenue) to enjoy the day in the park. While there, I discovered Le Carouse and was captivated by the French music and bright lights. Walking over and seeing all the children with their parents close by making sure they didn’t fall off their ponies, made me want to ride too. I went up to the friendly looking lady in the ticket booth and asked if they allowed adults to ride the Carouse.

“Why sure,” she said with a big smile. “I have a lady who comes every week to ride. She says it’s relaxing.”

Within a New York minute, I had my ticket and within seconds was straddling “Granny’s Folly,” a beautiful pistachio green carouse horse with a gold saddle and champagne colored mane.

Go ahead. Have some fun and make it your own Top Blonde day!

My debut entry October 28, 2008

My ongoing journey to finding my voice began as a little girl. Reflecting back, I remembered that I did speak up for myself, only I concluded that I wasn’t effective. This was because I never saw any evidence that my words carried any clout. At least, that was my perception and soon became my reality that I internalized. Consequently, I learned that I had no power, that I wasn’t taken seriously, and that attention was not being paid to my expressions of feelings.

If you also grew up in the 40’s and 50’s you may identify with my experience or relate to my story as many children then grew up under the philosophy that children were to be seen and not heard. Don’t make waves and be good were the unspoken creeds of that time.

My perception of what happened to me set me on a life path for a dance on an unhealthy stage of seeking approval and applause any way I could. I’ve sold myself short, I’ve sold out, and have struggled for many years from an inferiority complex that began in grammar school. I questioned how to decipher what my basic and normal rights were and/or how to be treated with respect and dignity.

It wasn’t until over thirty years later when a hooded intruder entering my home in broad daylight rocked my world to the very core and I became the victim of a violent crime. Though it was a process, my journey to wholeness and healing began on that fateful day. In that split second, my life would forever be different. Over the next ten years, I changed. I found the courage to break through the darkness of life's barriers and "push back the night".

My blog, Top Blonde… speaking up! is designed to inspire and challenge you and give you some steps to take to push back your own night of darkness. Though you may not have gone through a traumatic experience like I was faced with, you may have lived your life as a victim of sorts. You may be too sweet for your own good, you may be too nice and find yourself duped by charlatans, or you may find yourself taken advantage of by seemingly well meaning people.

I am doing research for my next book on the topic of speaking up for you. If you have overcome debilitating behavior and set yourself on a new path for purposeful living, I’d like to hear how you learned to speak up for yourself.

It is my premise that we know our limitations, utilize our strengths, and never be less that we are.I hope that you will come back and visit my site often. Stay beautiful. Stay empowered and always, be a world class lady .
Until next time…Top Blonde…speaking up.

Top Blonde...speaking up!

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Friday, January 31, 2014

Fling wide the gates

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Welcome to my blog

Latest Top Blonde news

Make it a Top Blonde day!

Top Blonde on "Granny's Folly"

About Top Blonde

Keep advancing... life will take you far.

My debut entry October 28, 2008

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