Luck vs. blessing

During the early days of my marriage, my husband, Nick, used to say that I made everything harder than it was. Whether I was managing the household, getting ready to go somewhere, or even making dinner, he made his view known.

At the time, I was defensive and positive that he was wrong. But, now, over thirty years later, I sometimes hear his voice, “You’re making life harder than it is, Jen”. Perhaps Nick’s perception was spot on and, I’m still making life more complicated than need be.

But, the voice in me, my truth, is shouting, “Life is hard” just as Scott Peck wrote in, The Road Less Traveled. That’s my reality. I deal with two life-threatening, genetic diseases and am facing a kidney transplant. My days involve managing multiple doctors’ appointments, keeping track of medical records, lab reports, tests results and x-rays, and trying to locate my list of who to notify when the surgery date is set. And, I am trying to keep it together while dealing with the effects of chronic kidney disease, some of which include anemia, bone disease and fatigue, and still carve out a purposeful life.

Your own reality may be different than mine but you may be still juggling life, holding down a job, and caring for a family. Or, your stage of life may be like mine; in the over sixty-five category and facing health issues. You may be caring for an aging parent or a spouse who has medical/physical issues, or helping out with grandchildren. I’m not exactly sure who is living the “Golden Years” I’ve heard about, but it’s not me or anyone I know.

Life has taught me that few people escape trials. Everyone seems to be dealing with some sort of challenge to their equilibrium. We wouldn’t grow and come to realize that the richness we can gain from our experiences, even though they may not be ones we would have chosen, can contribute to our passion. They make us unique. They show us what we’re made of and sometimes, we’re even surprised to find we’re stronger than we thought. Even through tragedy people have discovered their purpose in life and champion a cause for good.

My life hasn’t turned out at all the way I envisioned. I would rather be perfectly healthy and been spared some of my trials and tribulations. But, God had another plan. And, now, blessing of blessings, He’s answered my prayer and the prayers of my family for a living kidney donor! Some would say I’m lucky. I would say I’m blessed beyond measure.

Life has also taught me about the resilience of the human spirit. God has taught me about love.

What about you? Is luck with you or is a force beyond just good fortune at work in your life that’s ended up becoming a blessing beyond measure?

I would love to hear from you!

Jennifer

October 22 - Upcoming Class Ridgewood Community School

Tuesday, October 22, 7-9 pm, at the BFMS (Benjamin Franklin Middle School) 335 N. Van Dien Avenue, Ridgewood, NJ, I will be teaching, "Speaking UP - How to Revolutionize Your Life". It's my most popular class. If you know of someone, perhaps yourself, or a friend who might benefit from this dynamic and potentially life changing event, sign up today! There are 5 ways to register: Phone Ridgewood Community School (201)670-2777; Walk In: 49 Cottage Place, 2nd Floor Lobby; Mail: 49 cottage Place, Ridgewood, NJ 07451; Fax: (201) 444-5565 or Online: https://register.communitypass.net.

Class description:
If you are ready to embark on an adventure that can change your life through words and actions, then this class is for you. Speaking up and finding your voice can pave the way to a new found freedom in self-expression that sets you apart as a star. Are you sometimes just a bit too nice or too agreeable? Come and find out how to use your pleasant nature to your advantage without jeopardizing your relationships. This class will teach you how to put away doormat thinking and pull out a platform that will command respect and increase confidence on a daily basis. Combining these winning ways can transform your relationships and open up new opportunities to expand your horizons personally and professionally. Topics include: how to be true to yourself, how to say no without fear, the six steps for speaking up for yourself, and the seven benefits of speaking up. It will leave you with eight words that can change the course of your life.

The power of a primrose plant

Upon entering the supermarket the primrose plant display caught my eye. I began maneuvering my cart in the direction of the parade of primroses on the display table. The flashes of color popping out from the rosette of leaves on each plant gave me a warm feeling as I placed a primrose plant in my cart. Spring is on its way.

I discovered from reading the Merriam-Webster dictionary on my iPad that the word “springtime” was first used in the 15th century. The very word springtime conjures up in my mind gaiety and color and freshness and newness and rebirth. After the long days of winter it’s an eagerly awaited season.

With warmer days ahead and the pastel colors that will soon grace our gardens brightening our spirits, I could feel the excitement within swelling. Celebration was in order!

It was a perfect near spring like morning when I picked up my friend, Carol. We were heading to Starbucks in Old Tappan for a friendship chat. After we were nearly talked out we then decided to stop at Bonnabel Nature Park for a pre-spring walk. When we met earlier that morning, the sun was out and the weather was moderate. But, by the time we arrived at the park the sky wasn’t as bright nor was the sun as warm. Still, we were rip-roaring ready to tramp along the trail and get in a walk in the woods.

We set out along the path hopeful for a sign of spring. But, there wasn’t a sprig of green anywhere. Nary had a bird chirped nor were there any other sounds of life from the forest. But, that didn’t stop us because as sure as the sun rises and sets each day, spring is coming.

I had the proof. The bright yellow flowers on the solitary primrose plant I’d purchased setting on my coffee table greeted me each morning. The burst of color reminded me that hope lay ahead. That the season of renewal, regeneration, and restoration was nearly upon us and that we’d soon be flourishing.

Oh, yes, there is power even in a solitary primrose plant.

Valentine's Day 2013 Feel the love; give it away

Valentine's Day 2013 will be warming my heart for a long time to come. What started out as another ordinary day evolved into an assemblage of adventure.

My first adventure was getting myself to the bus stop on time for an early bus to New York City. I had an appointment for a stress test at 10 AM. Once I'd arrived at Port Authority my next leg involved getting myself to the A Train during the morning scramble. After boarding the subway and successfully getting off at the right stop, Columbus Circle, I headed to my destination on 59th Street across from St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital. Hopping on a treadmill that that keeps going faster only compounded the stress I was already feeling, but let's just say I survived the test and was immensely relieved when it was finished!

Walking out of the medical building after my test, I was met by the exuberance of the day. After a blizzard dropped about a foot and a half of snow over the weekend, the bright sun overhead, accompanied by milder temperatures, was a welcome sign.

My stress test instructions were to hold the coffee, so my first stop was Starbucks for a tall Tazo Chai Tea Latte with soy milk. With tea in hand, I then headed back up 58th Street towards Columbus Circle. My destination was Central Park. Along the way men kept whisking past me with bouquets in hand, or a potted plant or a single rose. Valentine's Day was in the air!

Upon exiting the bus several hours earlier I'd turned back to the bus driver and with a big smile said, "Happy Valentine's Day"! I didn't hear his reply as the people in back of me were hurrying me along but a lady standing next to me told me his response. I learned that I was the first to give him a Valentine's Day greeting.

I think that's when the tone for my day was set. Since I was feeling the love that encircled me I wanted to extend the vibes. Making another's Valentine's Day brighter was my blueprint for the day, and I was going to do whatever I could to spread smiles.

Ambling through Central Park I extended a smile to everyone passing. That included the driver in the horse carriages, joggers, mothers pushing children in strollers, an elderly couple sauntering along, couples in love, and even the couple from Italy who asked me where Strawberry Fields was.

While I was enjoying myself on the pathways in the park, I received a text from a friend who invited me out to dinner this evening. She was recently widowed and being without a significant other myself it seemed like a delightful idea so I accepted.

This Valentine’s Day with its assemblage of adventure definitely helped me feel the love to overflowing so that I could give it away.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Happy New Year!

It’s 2013! I’m excited to have a new slate upon which to write a new story. With God’s help and guidance I believe it’s going to be the best year of my life.

I rounded out 2012 by spending it with my family in Livingston, Montana and ringing in 2013 under the Big Sky. The landscape in Montana is mighty different from the landscape in the Northeast.

This New Year’s Day I drove down to the lagoon at Sacajawea Park as the sun was setting. While standing by the statue, “At the Yellowstone,” named so because that is where the Corps rested and watered their horses after crossing through the Bridger Mountains earlier that day (July 15, 1806), I was awe-struck while pondering the reality of life over two hundred years ago. Sacajawea is the Shoshone young woman who joined the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Montana is very cold in the winter. Most of time I’m indoors but still dressed in layers of winter garments. I’m never very far from the heater. For trips outside in frigid conditions I’ve got on a hat, a wool scarf, my Land’s End Buckskin gloves and usually, my daughter’s Bog’s boots (warm, waterproof and comfortable).

I can only imagine how cold it was for the travelers on the Lewis and Clark expedition. It reminds me how brave Sacajawea must have been to travel by horseback with the band of soldiers and the warmth of a campfire at night.

One way I can honor Sacajawea and other’s before us who braved hurdles and challenges that led to a better life is to step out of my comfort zone.

After leaving the lagoon at Sacajawea Park I drove up the road a smidge, parked, and got out and walked alongside the Yellowstone River. In the silence with only the sound of the rushing waters lapping over rocks and flowing downstream, I let the experience fill me. Breathing in deeply even in twenty-five degree weather was invigorating. I then exhaled and let go of my cares.

As I walked back to the warmth of my daughter Nicole’s Jeep that I was driving, I felt encouraged. As I begin writing a new story on my empty slate all will surely not be peaches and cream. But whatever 2013 drops into my lap I know that God will grant me what I need to brave the hurdles and challenges.

Happy New Year! May it be your best year yet too!

Holiday happenings in Montana

Eight months have passed since my last visit to Montana. Usually my visits are closer together, but this year I’ve been evaluated for a kidney transplant. Doctor’s visits and tests during the evaluation process interrupted life’s flow and put any travel plans I wanted to make on hold.

At my last doctor’s visit with my nephrologist I learned my kidney function had slightly improved and I didn’t need my transplant in December, as had been discussed. I was elated. That meant I had a window of opportunity to book a flight to the Treasure State for Christmas with my family!

So, December 14, I flew out of Newark, New Jersey to Big Sky country. My daughter, Nicole, and four-year-old grandson, Finn, came to pick me up in Billings. They arrived shortly after my plane landed meeting me in the baggage area. I was facing the luggage carousel when Finn came bounding up to me with his auntie following. Leaping into my open arms he gave the most endearing and enthusiastic greeting “Grandma” I’d ever heard melting my heart on the spot. The hug that followed instantly erased the months of waiting I’d agonized over at not being able to visit my family.

It’s now several days since my arrival, and I am sitting in a comfy chair next to the wood stove at my daughter Lesa’s house, writing this blog. I’ve been sleeping out in “the cottage” at the back of the property across from the chicken coop. As dawn breaks two plump hens softly cackle outside my window. Sometimes, Finn comes out to tell me, “Grandma, time to get up”. I don’t know when I’ve been so happy!
Each morning on the way into the house for my morning coffee, I open the hen house door to gather the eggs. I’d not had that experience since I was a young girl staying overnight with my great-grandmother, Flora May Swofford. It was as fun in 2012 gathering eggs as it was in 1955.

Being a grandmother has got to be the most wonderful experience in the world. Every grandmother is keenly familiar with the unbridled joy and thrill of watching grandchildren grow. And, of the incredible manner these little tykes have of communicating what’s on their minds. People told me how great it is being a grandparent but one can’t really comprehend the mystery and magic until they are one themselves.

And now, as I’ve settled in for the duration of my visit with my daughters and family I’m savoring each day and each interaction with Finn, the little guy, and his big brothers who afford me blessings of their own.

I find life truly exciting at this stage in my life. Everything becomes an adventure. This trip has even been one of further discovery as I’ve learned more about myself and my family. Christmas morning will surely bring further blessings as we celebrate the gift the birth of Christ brings!

A phone call of hope

A phone call that I missed this morning got my attention. On my iPhone dial I saw that it came from area code 212, New York City. I recognized the number as coming from Columbia New York Presbyterian Hospital University Medical Center. The phone call could only mean one thing. The results were back. The type and cross match that is done to find out if a potential organ donor is an actual match was completed. I would soon learn if my potential organ donor is a match for me to get a kidney transplant.

My story began thirty-five years ago when I was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease, PKD for short. PKD is one of the most common life-threatening genetic diseases that eventually destroy healthy kidney tissue. There is no cure. The only hope of survival is dialysis or transplantation. My journey to transplantation began exactly one year ago when I was placed on the United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS) waiting list.

Eager to know the type and cross match results, I returned the call to Columbia only to reach an answering machine. I left a message. It turned out to be several hours after the first call came that I actually learned the result of the type and cross match. While waiting, I was busy baking snickerdoodle cookies for a friend who was bitten by a dog. Since everybody knows cookies are a version of first aid, I wanted to take over some freshly baked cookies and a box of tea to cheer her spirits.

My Aunt B. always says to me, “Keeping singing, Jen.” So, I started singing while baking the cookies to help take my mind off the urgency simmering in my stomach.

A short time after I took the cookies out of the oven, I tried Columbia again and this time was connected with my transplant coordinator. The long awaited moment was at hand. I was sitting on the edge of my chair, pen in hand and paper in front of me ready to write down the results.

“Your donor is a match”, I heard my transplant coordinator say.

My phone call of hope had come! The transplantation process would continue and a kidney transplant would be scheduled at my donor’s convenience. My mind was whirling as I listened and scribbled the next steps I had to take. After we hung up I could hardly concentrate. I began calling family and friends who had been praying for me to find a living donor. My family couldn’t believe it happened so soon and were overjoyed from my good news. They were astonished by the way everything had fallen into place exactly one year to the day of being placed on the waiting list.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude to think that someone was even willing to be tested regardless of the outcome. It’s going to take some time to process how the donor will change my life and mine will change hers. But, I’m going to take it one day at a time. Today, I’m celebrating the good news about getting a preemptive (bypassing dialysis) living donor kidney transplant.

My mother used to tell me that my blessings weren’t from “luck” but from God’s hand upon me. Mom passed on a few years ago but I think she was right. It’s not really luck at all; it’s the faithful prayers of my family and friends who have stood with me claiming God’s promise to care for me. Today, he showed His faithfulness and love and care through a phone call of hope!

Until next time, Jennifer

I hope you will come back and visit my blog again and share it with your family and friends.