Top Blonde...speaking up!: The pain of parting; the joy of hello

Monday, January 31, 2011

The pain of parting; the joy of hello

Sitting in a window seat while flying at 4,000 feet in the air aboard a Boeing 737 on Alaska Airlines, I began pondering the events of the last three weeks of my life.

In the first week, I flew from my home on the East Coast to fly out to my hometown on the West Coast to meet my sister, Lezlie. It was time for us to tackle the final clearing out of our deceased mother’s belongings from the family home that is now on the market. When that project was completed, I flew to Montana for the next two weeks to visit my three daughters, Nicole, Lesa, and Aimee and two-year old grandson, Finn. We had the best of times! And then, came my departure day. We all had long faces as I packed up my things.

A lot of thoughts run through your mind when you’re sitting on a plane. You can read, think, or strike up a conversation with a seat mate. If you choose thinking, where do your thoughts land?

For now, my thoughts have landed on our tearful good-bye. I wasn’t ready to leave. I wasn’t ready to go back to my life minus the joy of being with my family and hearing the word, “Mom” as well as Finn’s version of “Grandma”. It was music to my ears. I hadn’t been ready to say good-bye to my mom when she passed away three years ago either. But, I had to adjust. And, now, I wasn’t yet quite ready to leave my girls and sweet Finn. Our time being together was so special. I just wanted it to go on and on...

“Mom, you need to move here”, Nicole had said. Lesa, Finn’s mommy loves when I come (I stay with her to make sure that Finn knows his Grandma), and Aimee too wishes I’d move to Montana. Secretly, I think they all want me to come so I can do their mending.

I don’t have a crystal ball to see into the future and if my address is going to change anytime soon. But, as I ponder the moments with my family in my window seat, you can be sure I’m doing some serious day dreaming about life under the Montana Sky.

Luckily, another trip is planned soon. The joy of our next "hellos", and seeing the smiling faces of my daughters and grandson welcoming me helps ease the pain of parting. With that thought, I sink back into my seat and relax for the remainder of my flight knowing that I don't need a crystal ball. God holds my future and I know that His plan will be the best one for us all.

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Welcome to my blog

My ongoing journey to finding my voice began in childhood. Looking back, I realized I’d tried speaking up for myself in my early years except that nobody paid attention to what I was trying to express. Consequently, my perception and internalization from not being validated taught me that I was ineffective and not important.

Growing up with a lack of trust in others and in myself contributed to setting me on an unhealthy path of seeking approval and applause. I’ve sold myself short, sold out, and struggled for many years from an inferiority complex that blossomed in grammar school and continued with me right into womanhood.

It wasn’t until over thirty years later when I became the victim of a violent crime that my world changed. My trauma set me on a new path of healing. Eventually, through rape counseling and the love and support of family and friends, I recovered and found my way back to facing the truth of my life and becoming a woman with a voice who pushed back the night.

I’ve learned that we need to have a sane estimate of ourselves, know our limitations, utilize our strengths, never be less that who we are, and never let anyone or anything rob us of our joy.

My blog, Top Blonde… speaking up, is designed to inspire and challenge you to push back your own vale of darkness. You may not have gone through a traumatic experience like I was faced with, but you may have lived your life as a victim of sorts. You may be too sweet for your own good, or too nice and frequently find yourself taken advantage of by seemingly well meaning people.

I hope that you will share my blog with your friends and family and come back and visit often. Your comments and/or thoughts are welcome. Click on "comments" on the bottom right after a blog entry.

Stay beautiful, stay empowered, and always be a world class lady with a voice for good.

Latest Top Blonde news

I recently met the editor-in-chief from a large and well known publisher in NYC in the most amazing way in a most unasuming setting. We had a brief conversation at which time I asked if I could send some information about the book I'm writing. He said yes and gave me his email address. I sent my query and he responded yes that I could follow up with a book proposal for my second book, a sequal to my first book, Nice Girls Don't Get Raped. I'm very excited and will keep you posted. Wish me luck! Prayers are also appreciated:-).

Make it a Top Blonde day!

Making it a Top Blonde day has very little to do with hair color. You don’t have to be one of the many shades of blonde that either comes naturally, or out of a bottle, to qualify.

There are numerous ways to cultivate a Top Blonde spirit into your life. You might want to be Top Grandma, for example, or become Top Friend in your circle of friendships, or maybe even the Top Co-worker in the workplace. Or, maybe you want to wrap up in some razzle-dazzle before you walk out your front door and wow everyone around you.

The required ingredients for making it a Top Blonde day are free. You already have everything you need. It’s simply pulling up the desire to enjoy life, bring happiness to others, and make sure you’re living to the fullest extent of your capabilities. All that’s needed is incorporating a sense of adventure in your day, mixed with a dollop of fun and a sprinkle of flair, then topped off with some joie de vivre and, you’re on your way.

Allow me to share with you how easily it can happen. The other day when visiting New York City I stopped by Bryant Park on 42nd Street and the Avenue of Americas (sixth avenue) to enjoy the day in the park. While there, I discovered Le Carouse and was captivated by the French music and bright lights. Walking over and seeing all the children with their parents close by making sure they didn’t fall off their ponies, made me want to ride too. I went up to the friendly looking lady in the ticket booth and asked if they allowed adults to ride the Carouse.

“Why sure,” she said with a big smile. “I have a lady who comes every week to ride. She says it’s relaxing.”

Within a New York minute, I had my ticket and within seconds was straddling “Granny’s Folly,” a beautiful pistachio green carouse horse with a gold saddle and champagne colored mane.

Go ahead. Have some fun and make it your own Top Blonde day!

My debut entry October 28, 2008

My ongoing journey to finding my voice began as a little girl. Reflecting back, I remembered that I did speak up for myself, only I concluded that I wasn’t effective. This was because I never saw any evidence that my words carried any clout. At least, that was my perception and soon became my reality that I internalized. Consequently, I learned that I had no power, that I wasn’t taken seriously, and that attention was not being paid to my expressions of feelings.

If you also grew up in the 40’s and 50’s you may identify with my experience or relate to my story as many children then grew up under the philosophy that children were to be seen and not heard. Don’t make waves and be good were the unspoken creeds of that time.

My perception of what happened to me set me on a life path for a dance on an unhealthy stage of seeking approval and applause any way I could. I’ve sold myself short, I’ve sold out, and have struggled for many years from an inferiority complex that began in grammar school. I questioned how to decipher what my basic and normal rights were and/or how to be treated with respect and dignity.

It wasn’t until over thirty years later when a hooded intruder entering my home in broad daylight rocked my world to the very core and I became the victim of a violent crime. Though it was a process, my journey to wholeness and healing began on that fateful day. In that split second, my life would forever be different. Over the next ten years, I changed. I found the courage to break through the darkness of life's barriers and "push back the night".

My blog, Top Blonde… speaking up! is designed to inspire and challenge you and give you some steps to take to push back your own night of darkness. Though you may not have gone through a traumatic experience like I was faced with, you may have lived your life as a victim of sorts. You may be too sweet for your own good, you may be too nice and find yourself duped by charlatans, or you may find yourself taken advantage of by seemingly well meaning people.

I am doing research for my next book on the topic of speaking up for you. If you have overcome debilitating behavior and set yourself on a new path for purposeful living, I’d like to hear how you learned to speak up for yourself.

It is my premise that we know our limitations, utilize our strengths, and never be less that we are.I hope that you will come back and visit my site often. Stay beautiful. Stay empowered and always, be a world class lady .
Until next time…Top Blonde…speaking up.

Top Blonde...speaking up!

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Monday, January 31, 2011

The pain of parting; the joy of hello

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My debut entry October 28, 2008

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