Birthday meditations

Today, I am sixty-four and I am going to enjoy every last breath before dawn tomorrow when I turn sixty-five. I don’t know the exact time of my birth so I won’t have to wait until a certain hour of the day to officially turn sixty-five. I can wake up and be sixty-five!

When I was born on June 22, 1945, neither the time of the baby’s birth nor their weight and length were listed on birth certificates. I’m sure my mom shared that with me somewhere along the way, and I likely have it jotted down on a piece of scrap paper somewhere. But, Richard Carlson, Ph.D., wrote Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and I’m taking his advice. Fiddly, if I’m going to turn sixty-five tomorrow, it’s about time I master Mr. Carlson’s charge.

Cheryl, one of my high school classmates from my hometown, Visalia, California, sent an email saying happy birthday in advance. She also wrote, “…As they say, 65 is just a number"! It made me feel hopeful. I can just sit back and relax while getting a manicure and a pedicure this afternoon and wrap my mind around Cheryl’s comments.

Sixty-four hasn’t been so bad. A lot of good things have happened this past year in spite of battling with the pull of gravity. Since my budget doesn’t allow visits for plastic surgery and looking like Joan Rivers with the upsweep eyes, I have to nip and tuck the old fashioned way; exercise and fewer calories. I can see this regime is going to be a lengthy proposition but I’ve heard perseverance has its rewards.

I am a little sad to say good-bye to sixty-four. It went too fast and I didn’t get done all that I wanted to accomplish. But, believe it or not, I’m really excited to cross over. Now I will officially be a “senior citizen” even though I don’t think of myself as being that old.

Well, the hours are passing and I’ve only a short while before the magical moment when the stroke of midnight officially declares that tomorrow is here.
Cheryl is right. Whatever your age it’s just a number.

I’m ready to welcome the ripe young age of sixty-five because, I believe, the best is yet to come! Getting older isn’t always peachy keen, but growing up and stepping out in faith is always in style no matter your age.

Instead of saying I’m getting older, I’m going to believe that I’m getting better. And, that as I turn sixty-five tomorrow God will give me the faith and the courage to deal with whatever lands on my plate as I turn the page and enter this new chapter in my life.

A Mother’s Day investment

For two days now I’ve been at my computer creating cards. Most of these creations are for Mother’s Day and need to be mailed pronto. Ever since I received a Hallmark Card Studio program as a gift several years ago I’ve enjoyed designing and creating every kind of card you could possibly conceive for the events in another’s life.

Birthday cards, anniversary cards, new baby cards including one for my daughter when she delivered my precious grandson, Finn. The milestone card created especially for my father’s 95th birthday. Sympathy cards, encouragement cards, get well cards, thinking of you cards, retirement cards, wedding cards, and of late a specially crafted congratulations card for my sister, Lezlie, whose graduation is May 5 & 6 from the University of Colorado, at Bolder, with a PhD in Music History.

Some people might ask, “What is the return on your investment in making all these cards?” In other words, how many cards do you get back? Hum… that’s an interesting question and one I have no need to ponder. But, truth be told the physical return is not high. Yet, my purpose in this venture is not procuring the typical sought after return on one’s investment. In my mind, that’s God’s business. My business is being faithful to my calling and my hearts desire to be a blessing. That's my return.

One day my dear Aunt B. said to me, “Jen, you have a little ministry with your cards. Just as I was ready to shake my head, oh, fiddly dee I don’t know about that, I thought to myself perhaps Aunt B. is right? Maybe God is using my talent to help lift the spirits of others.

It’s sort of like the imperishable qualities of a mother. It’s not our physical attributes that are prized by God and a man deserving of a Godly woman. Proverbs 31: 25 reads this way, “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.

In creating personalized greeting cards my hope is that the recipient will simply be blessed by some aspect of the card. Perhaps it’s the words written on the card specifically for that person’s need, or the embellishments, or the photos I sometimes include that speaks to their heart in a special way.

I hope your Mother’s Day mail box has a card or two or three that blesses your heart. It might be from me!

The magic at Paterson’s Great Falls

With all the rain soaking our landscape lately there’s been a growing buzz about Paterson’s Great Falls, in Paterson, New Jersey, one of the birthplaces of the industrial revolution in America. Twenty years ago after moving to the Northeast from Southern California, my family and I went on a Sunday afternoon drive and found ourselves at this natural wonder, now a national park.

I didn’t know then that Paterson was called the “Silk City” because of its lead role in silk production in the United States in the mid-19th century. Or that its history goes back to Alexander Hamilton who conceived of the first major water power system in the United States in 1791. Back in the early nineties, I had to get out my history books and even today this "Top Blonde" is still discovering the wonders of Northern New Jersey and beyond.

So, I got Madame Merlot II, my Jeep, washed and shined from the buckets of rain drops dimming her beauty. I needed a partner in crime so I called my trusty friend and co-hort, Marie Dineen. Between the two of us, we were more than capable of getting ourselves into mischief one way or another.

Marie and I set out early on a stellar pre-spring day for a photo shoot of the Great Falls. Marie grew up in Paterson which made her the perfect choice for my traveling partner. On my own, I can’t be trusted. I’ve been known to miss a turn and end up in another state! What’s worse is I didn’t even know it, but, we’ll let that saga lay dormant for now.

Traveling to Paterson was a breeze. When we arrived in the middle of town, “Cesar” and “Oscar” of the Paterson Police Department traffic division carefully guided us to our destination. Once we arrived and parked at the National Historic Landmark, we walked over to the viewing platform. I got out my camera and tri-pod and started snapping photos of the 77 foot-high falls that were nearly deafening.

While we were still at the platform viewing, a passel of pre-schoolers arrived and went scampering over to the railing to look at the falls. Accompanied by their teachers we learned that the pre-school was across the street and that they came to the Great Falls frequently. No matter. The children were in awe.

Clearly, Mother Nature has anointed the Great Falls with that extra special touch of splendor and magic. Because, after walking over to the bridge area, you become mesmerized. The roar, the mist, the double rainbow and the wonder of it all left both Marie and me breathless at the power of the churning, swirling water. It was beyond impressive especially then with all the rain water surging over the rocky ledge.

What trip to the Great Falls is complete without a stop at Libby’s Lunch? That’s just what we did to cap off our morning before journeying back home.

Though I don’t typically eat hot dogs any more, every now and then you have to break your own rule. And, a stop at Libby’s Lunch on McBride Avenue in Paterson can easily persuade such a decision. Libby’s is historical and Marie and I weren’t about to miss out! It’s been there since 1939 and is the place to be bad. Thus, we indulged in their famous hot dog topped with mustard, fresh chopped onion and the all the way sauce. Of course, you can’t consume a Libby’s hot dog without a few French fries.

Driving home Marie and I felt exhilarated and vowed to return soon. I’ve a feeling it won’t be another twenty years before my next visit to the historical awe-inspiring Great Falls of Paterson, New Jersey.

The luck of the Irish

Many years ago, I was telling my mom what a lucky lady I am. My friends, Norm and Virginia Rohrer, had mailed me my Day Runner that I’d left at their home after a visit. Norm and Virginia lived at Hume Lake near Sequoia National Park, and I lived in Southern California at that time and was lost without my organizer. That was about twenty years ago. I’m still lost without my organizer. Only now, I carry a smaller one. Thankfully I haven’t left it anywhere lately.

What does this have to do with the luck of the Irish? Everything! For, you see, going back to my conversation with mom, life is a lot about luck. Even if you’re not Irish you may find you have the luck of the Irish. Webster’s II New Riverside University Dictionary reads this way about “luck”, Good fortune or prosperity: success.

But, being “lucky” may be more of an attitude than anything else. It’s also about your perspective and what principles you stand upon.

Just Saturday, March 13, I had a very lucky experience. On the very day of one of the worst storms in the Northeast I was in New York City at NYU for a medical seminar. The wind was near hurricane force and the rain was unrelenting. I’d never seen so many broken umbrellas swept up against fences or strewn in the gutters all smashed to smithereens. I had just gotten off the bus at 42nd Street and Third Avenue and was walking over to catch the M bus down to 34th Street when my hat blew off. It whirled up and around on the current and then was blown smack under a security truck. Suddenly, a tall, able-bodied looking man with glasses and hair askew from the wind who was walking a few steps in back of me bolted into action. He knelt down on his hands and knees and reached under the security truck into black oblivion to grab my hat. When he stood back up he handed me my hat for which I profusely thanked him, and then he continued down the sidewalk. Talk about chivalry!

Yes, indeed, I would acquiesce I was lucky that there was a chivalrous gentleman close by in my moment of need. As I look over my life, fortuitousness has truly been the wind at my back.

And, so, on St. Patrick’s Day 2010, may the Luck of the Irish be with you and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Courage to grow

With the coming of spring we become motivated to clean out the cobwebs in our homes that have gathered over the winter. We grab up bouquets of daffodils already lining supermarket shelves, and at the first hint of sunlight steaming in through the windows, we rush to open them and let in the first burst of fresh air of the season.

Spring is also a prime time to refresh, refocus, and renew our minds. We may be harboring old resentments, or past hurts, and refuse taking the higher road in our relationships. We assume that the other party is wrong and we are owed apologies and the extension of an olive branch. Sometimes, we are more stubborn than a mule’s resistance to a command by a trail guide in making a move toward reconciliation.

I once read in Ann Landers about two sisters who didn’t speak to each other for over 40 years; something about an egg beater that belonged to their mother.

Call it “spring is in the air” or maybe I’m reaching the vanguard of maturity and finally growing up. Or, maybe it’s simply that I don’t want a lifetime of regrets hounding me on my deathbed. But, whatever the reason, I’m thankful for the motivation to reach out and rectify the past... while I still can.

Thus, I’ve found myself stepping out more fearlessly than in the past to speak up in love and mend a broken relationship. It's really never about whose turn it is to take the high road. It’s about doing the right thing for you.

Go ahead. Speak up and take that small step of courage. If your only motive is finding peace that defies understanding be the olive branch.

It is more blessed to give than to recieve

“Love is not getting, but giving…. It is goodness and honor and peace and pure living—yes, love is that and it is the best thing in the world and the thing that lives the longest. -Henry Van Dyke.

Valentine’s Day, on the one hand, is a silly and over commercialized holiday that comes once a year. On the other hand, showing love is timeless. The media would have us think Valentine’s Day is just for lovers. But, it’s so much more than that. Valentine’s Day often gives us pause and causes us to look at our relationships and focus on the people in our lives. People like sons and daughters, aunts and uncles, friends, the lonely lady down the block, a friend we’ve lost touch with, and so forth. Valentine’s Day is for everyone.

So, while it may be an over commercialized holiday, we can be quite creative and have some fun with it and spread and share the love in our hearts far and wide. All the better if we’ve retained our child’s heart to pull out upon occasions. Valentine’s Day is one occasion that’s perfect for keeping our child’s heart close by and not tucking it away just because we think we are now “mature”, so to speak.
As a hopeless romantic, and most definitely a woman child, my child’s heart can easily be tapped into and is typically readily accessible. Valentine’s Day gives me a good excuse to give away dollops of love.
This Valentine’s Day I’ve found myself making sugar Valentine cookies and then decorating them with frosting, making Valentine’s Day cards for my gaggle of girlfriends, sending a Valentine’s Day card to a recently widowed woman with a marriage of 60 years, putting together little bags of my sugar cookies in different sizes and handing out to my friends at church with little Valentine shaped cut-out pieces of paper with their names in red, and inviting a special friend for a home made “healthy waffles” brunch.

Silly serendipitous stuff, isn’t it? But, the blessing from creative giving becomes more than one can imagine when you witness the delight in the recipient’s eyes.

The gift of love and care comes right back and fills your own heart to the brim.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

What's in your water bottle

While sitting around a table the other day for a meeting, I noticed three designer water bottles congregated together and placed directly in front of the other attendees. Resembling sleek skyscrapers, one was light turquoise, one was purple and the other was a lemon yellow. A water bottle these days, like our eye glasses, has become a fashion statement. Heaven forbid we go bounding out the door for work or play with just an ordinary, run of the mill, water bottle. Today, you have to be sure that your container is a vivid color and is made from polyethylene terephthalate, or PET, before we fill it with water.

Like our water bottle that we take such care with that the materials used are of the purest plastic and non-poisonous, what do we tote out the door in our bodies every day? What is filling our tank? Beyond our own packaging, what’s inside our body that we carry out into our community?

Do we tote with us goodness and kindness? Do we leave our houses with the best of intentions to be a world class citizen or are we taking left over anger from last nights interaction with a family member, or a friend, out the front door and carrying it out into the world? Are we an instrument for peace? Do we greet our boss with a smile? Or do we bark at everyone who crosses our path?

Exhaling toxicity before we step out our door and breathing in peace and tranquility to pour into our water bottle only takes a minute. Not only does examining what’s in our water bottle lower our blood pressure but it raises our ability to be a positive voice in our day.

The honor of joy

Joy might not be something you readily associate with speaking up for yourself but it’s that very emotion that can propel your words in a positive manner. At best, joy is contagious. How powerful is that! You might even get off easy with a little joy because it can change those around you just by your ambiance.

Helen Keller writes in Resolve to Keep Happy. “Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow. Work without joy shall be as nothing. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.”

When joy bubbles up inside and courses throughout our body, endorphins are released. They cultivate the feel good element that spurs you to shine. I once read that simple pleasures can lead to the release of endorphins. How exciting that a walk in the woods with a friend or loved one, spotting a cardinal, or even from holding a child or a grand baby can fill you with joy. Make today special for not only finding the joy in your circumference but for spreading your happiness.

Tips for Investing in Happiness

If you want to be happier, forget about winning the lottery. We’ve all heard the stories about the big winners and how their lives and or relationships fell apart after becoming a millionaire. The grass always looks greener, but is it?

Sure, a newer car, bigger house, or a second home might bring a smile to your face. And, let’s not kid ourselves. More money might be grand and make life easier. But, then what? It won’t be long before you will be looking for the next high.

Harvard psychologist, Daniel Gilbert, writes in the bestseller, Stumbling on Happiness, published by Knopf, that “People who commit to relationships are much happier than those who don’t”. He goes on to say, “When we are connected well to others we feel most happy.”

Speaking up for ourselves and keeping the lines of communication open rather than blocking intimacy is not only healthy; it increases our sense of wellbeing. Surely, when our wellbeing is closer to a ten instead of a crumbling two or three, we will speak up with greater ease. We’ll do less second guessing about what comes out of our mouth. We’ll be making allies of our family and friends rather than enemies.

Nonverbal language

You might think that speaking up for yourself always means vocalizing. Not necessarily. Please don’t misunderstand. Saying the words one needs to speak in terms of honoring yourself and benefiting others wellbeing continues to be my stand. But, speaking up for yourself is as much about how your carry yourself as it is the words you communicate.

Are you a person who constantly follows the crowd with no thought of what’s right for you?

Growing up we all heard our mother say, “just because Susie jumped over the cliff doesn’t mean you have to do it too? Now that we’re grown, we’ve all learned how to think for ourselves. Well, most of us have anyway. Some people are still lax when it comes to managing their own lives or, if they are like me, are still in process.

I can still hear the echo of my mother’s words in her emphasized voice, “Use that head of yours for something besides a hat rack”. Finally, now in my womanhood of many years and the on the job training I’ve thus far survived called “life”, I hope that I’m making mom proud.

Putting those shoulders back, keeping your head up, and keeping your eyes alert is making the most of your natural assets that are always available at your beck and call. Try it. The benefit to your self-esteem and the impact on your social circle can be life enhancing. Let me know what happens.

Until next time… Top Blonde Speaking Up!