Courage to grow

With the coming of spring we become motivated to clean out the cobwebs in our homes that have gathered over the winter. We grab up bouquets of daffodils already lining supermarket shelves, and at the first hint of sunlight steaming in through the windows, we rush to open them and let in the first burst of fresh air of the season.

Spring is also a prime time to refresh, refocus, and renew our minds. We may be harboring old resentments, or past hurts, and refuse taking the higher road in our relationships. We assume that the other party is wrong and we are owed apologies and the extension of an olive branch. Sometimes, we are more stubborn than a mule’s resistance to a command by a trail guide in making a move toward reconciliation.

I once read in Ann Landers about two sisters who didn’t speak to each other for over 40 years; something about an egg beater that belonged to their mother.

Call it “spring is in the air” or maybe I’m reaching the vanguard of maturity and finally growing up. Or, maybe it’s simply that I don’t want a lifetime of regrets hounding me on my deathbed. But, whatever the reason, I’m thankful for the motivation to reach out and rectify the past... while I still can.

Thus, I’ve found myself stepping out more fearlessly than in the past to speak up in love and mend a broken relationship. It's really never about whose turn it is to take the high road. It’s about doing the right thing for you.

Go ahead. Speak up and take that small step of courage. If your only motive is finding peace that defies understanding be the olive branch.

It is more blessed to give than to recieve

“Love is not getting, but giving…. It is goodness and honor and peace and pure living—yes, love is that and it is the best thing in the world and the thing that lives the longest. -Henry Van Dyke.

Valentine’s Day, on the one hand, is a silly and over commercialized holiday that comes once a year. On the other hand, showing love is timeless. The media would have us think Valentine’s Day is just for lovers. But, it’s so much more than that. Valentine’s Day often gives us pause and causes us to look at our relationships and focus on the people in our lives. People like sons and daughters, aunts and uncles, friends, the lonely lady down the block, a friend we’ve lost touch with, and so forth. Valentine’s Day is for everyone.

So, while it may be an over commercialized holiday, we can be quite creative and have some fun with it and spread and share the love in our hearts far and wide. All the better if we’ve retained our child’s heart to pull out upon occasions. Valentine’s Day is one occasion that’s perfect for keeping our child’s heart close by and not tucking it away just because we think we are now “mature”, so to speak.
As a hopeless romantic, and most definitely a woman child, my child’s heart can easily be tapped into and is typically readily accessible. Valentine’s Day gives me a good excuse to give away dollops of love.
This Valentine’s Day I’ve found myself making sugar Valentine cookies and then decorating them with frosting, making Valentine’s Day cards for my gaggle of girlfriends, sending a Valentine’s Day card to a recently widowed woman with a marriage of 60 years, putting together little bags of my sugar cookies in different sizes and handing out to my friends at church with little Valentine shaped cut-out pieces of paper with their names in red, and inviting a special friend for a home made “healthy waffles” brunch.

Silly serendipitous stuff, isn’t it? But, the blessing from creative giving becomes more than one can imagine when you witness the delight in the recipient’s eyes.

The gift of love and care comes right back and fills your own heart to the brim.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

What's in your water bottle

While sitting around a table the other day for a meeting, I noticed three designer water bottles congregated together and placed directly in front of the other attendees. Resembling sleek skyscrapers, one was light turquoise, one was purple and the other was a lemon yellow. A water bottle these days, like our eye glasses, has become a fashion statement. Heaven forbid we go bounding out the door for work or play with just an ordinary, run of the mill, water bottle. Today, you have to be sure that your container is a vivid color and is made from polyethylene terephthalate, or PET, before we fill it with water.

Like our water bottle that we take such care with that the materials used are of the purest plastic and non-poisonous, what do we tote out the door in our bodies every day? What is filling our tank? Beyond our own packaging, what’s inside our body that we carry out into our community?

Do we tote with us goodness and kindness? Do we leave our houses with the best of intentions to be a world class citizen or are we taking left over anger from last nights interaction with a family member, or a friend, out the front door and carrying it out into the world? Are we an instrument for peace? Do we greet our boss with a smile? Or do we bark at everyone who crosses our path?

Exhaling toxicity before we step out our door and breathing in peace and tranquility to pour into our water bottle only takes a minute. Not only does examining what’s in our water bottle lower our blood pressure but it raises our ability to be a positive voice in our day.

The honor of joy

Joy might not be something you readily associate with speaking up for yourself but it’s that very emotion that can propel your words in a positive manner. At best, joy is contagious. How powerful is that! You might even get off easy with a little joy because it can change those around you just by your ambiance.

Helen Keller writes in Resolve to Keep Happy. “Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow. Work without joy shall be as nothing. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.”

When joy bubbles up inside and courses throughout our body, endorphins are released. They cultivate the feel good element that spurs you to shine. I once read that simple pleasures can lead to the release of endorphins. How exciting that a walk in the woods with a friend or loved one, spotting a cardinal, or even from holding a child or a grand baby can fill you with joy. Make today special for not only finding the joy in your circumference but for spreading your happiness.

Tips for Investing in Happiness

If you want to be happier, forget about winning the lottery. We’ve all heard the stories about the big winners and how their lives and or relationships fell apart after becoming a millionaire. The grass always looks greener, but is it?

Sure, a newer car, bigger house, or a second home might bring a smile to your face. And, let’s not kid ourselves. More money might be grand and make life easier. But, then what? It won’t be long before you will be looking for the next high.

Harvard psychologist, Daniel Gilbert, writes in the bestseller, Stumbling on Happiness, published by Knopf, that “People who commit to relationships are much happier than those who don’t”. He goes on to say, “When we are connected well to others we feel most happy.”

Speaking up for ourselves and keeping the lines of communication open rather than blocking intimacy is not only healthy; it increases our sense of wellbeing. Surely, when our wellbeing is closer to a ten instead of a crumbling two or three, we will speak up with greater ease. We’ll do less second guessing about what comes out of our mouth. We’ll be making allies of our family and friends rather than enemies.

Nonverbal language

You might think that speaking up for yourself always means vocalizing. Not necessarily. Please don’t misunderstand. Saying the words one needs to speak in terms of honoring yourself and benefiting others wellbeing continues to be my stand. But, speaking up for yourself is as much about how your carry yourself as it is the words you communicate.

Are you a person who constantly follows the crowd with no thought of what’s right for you?

Growing up we all heard our mother say, “just because Susie jumped over the cliff doesn’t mean you have to do it too? Now that we’re grown, we’ve all learned how to think for ourselves. Well, most of us have anyway. Some people are still lax when it comes to managing their own lives or, if they are like me, are still in process.

I can still hear the echo of my mother’s words in her emphasized voice, “Use that head of yours for something besides a hat rack”. Finally, now in my womanhood of many years and the on the job training I’ve thus far survived called “life”, I hope that I’m making mom proud.

Putting those shoulders back, keeping your head up, and keeping your eyes alert is making the most of your natural assets that are always available at your beck and call. Try it. The benefit to your self-esteem and the impact on your social circle can be life enhancing. Let me know what happens.

Until next time… Top Blonde Speaking Up!

A blue ribbon day

For my birthday this year, I gifted myself with a trip to Montana to visit my nine-month-old grandson, Finn Nicholas, and my three daughters, Nicole, Lesa, and Aimee. Funny how this little guy with infectious smiles, baby chatter, and his Big Sky blue Montana eyes has become such a force in all our lives.

While departing from the New York Tri-State metropolitan area for the wild frontier where the footprints of Lewis and Clark are imprinted throughout, I was giddy with excitement. Getting my hands on that baby so that he could reacquaint himself with his Grandma was all I could think about on the five-hour flight across the continent.

Sure enough, once we landed and I got to see Finn again, my heart was jumping with joy. Now, I fully understand why grandparents become animated and their eyes light up when talking about grandchildren. These wee ones truly are a source of love, pride, and appreciation all wrapped up with magic and awe. They fill us with a range of emotions in a league all of their own.

With Nicole living in Bozeman, Aimee in Helena, the Capital, and Lesa in Livingston, I try to divide my time. Truth be told, however, most of my time my suitcase ends up in Livingston with this granny happily sharing quarters in Finn's room. I suspect his adoring aunts understand.

Livingston is a historic landmark town (Calamity Jane was one of Livingston's infamous early-day residents) and was shaped by the early settlers who had dreams of building a city. It was the original entrance to Yellowstone National Park and is where Capt. William Clark separated from Meriwether Lewis to explore the Yellowstone River valley in the early 1800's.

One of the many joys I relished while on my visit were my walks with Finn in his chariot that connects to Lesa's bicycle and can be removed to push as a stroller. I had wanted to get back over to the Yellowstone River where I spent several hours in January taking pictures. So, on one of our morning walks I found myself meandering over to Sacajawea Park where the Yellowstone River runs alongside to revisit this inspiring spot.

My only challenge was that in the process of getting out the door with a baby to push Finn in his stroller, I found I was a little rusty with the baby scene and neglected getting the all-important bottle of water for Livingston’s nearly 5,000 feet elevation. With a life-threatening heart muscle disease, I had to stay hydrated. No mind, I figured. Surely, there will be a fountain along the way. Besides, I'll just take it slow and breath deeply.

As we strolled along the river walkway with me pushing Finn, who had now fallen asleep, the rush of the swift waters swirling rapidly downstream and the cool river wind whipping around my face fostered a feeling of freedom. I was drinking in every moment to the max.

The river walk ended at a patch of private property that was fenced off and we headed down the worn path among the tall grass that curved around the ball fields and back to the road. Beyond that, it was only 6-7 more blocks and we’d be back home. Though I felt a need for a drink of water I was sure I would be okay till we got there.

Hum…what’s this? Ah ha. A water spigot ahead!

My pace quickened as I pushed Finn over by the rudimentary spigot for the ball players to quench their thirst that was attached to a wooden post. I turned the handle. Bone dry.

Ok, just deep breath, don't fret, I can make it home. It's mind over matter. Well, maybe not, but staying positive can’t hurt. Finn was still sleeping and oblivious to this old granny's water worries.

We continued and immediately came upon another ball field with the same rudimentary water spigot. Dare I try?

Gripping the handle and turning it brought forth bubbling crystal clear water. I'm saved!

Standing at the back of the ball field after rehydrating like a camel, I had to pause. With my grandchild at my side, the blessing of water and magnificent views of majestic mountains every which way I turned, there was no doubt in my mind that God had given me with a blue-ribbon day!